APiD Ep. 047 | Victim to Victor
How to Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness, with Erica Adams
Check out the full transcript here.
It's not a question of WHETHER we'll experience hardship and tragedy in Life; rather, it's a matter of when, what it'll be, and how we'll respond to it.
When hardship and tragedy entered Erica Adams' life, she had a choice to remain a Victim or become a Victor. Her courageous choice to become a Victor has produced hard-won wisdom in Erica that all of us can benefit from.
On this podcast, with Mortality in mind, my goal is to equip you with the mindset and the means to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.
The determination to be a Victor rather than a Victim is one of the most important aspects of a mindset that will empower you to live that way. Erica's Story embodies the Victor spirit, and shows us how to embrace it ourselves.
A word of warning before we go any farther: Erica's Story includes domestic abuse. She doesn't go into detail, but for some of you, this subject matter might hit especially close to home. I hope you'll keep listening because there's so much gold for all of us in Erica's Story, whether or not abuse is part of your experience. But of course that's a decision you'll have to make for yourself.
Meet Erica Adams
Erica Adams is a "mountain-raised, globally-inspired" CO native, mom, and entrepreneur. She started Mountain Girl Creative to create quality content that touches its reader. Her background as an artist and photographer with years of marketing and sales experience allows her to help businesses see the big picture. She started the Mountain Girl Creative blog to share her voice, insights, and experiences, express what matters to her, and help others grow, too.
In Erica's own words, "it takes vulnerability, courage, and strength to share our journey, and I hope my lessons touch and inspire others."
Erica has had two experiences with domestic abuse, each at the hands of two different men. What began as loving, meaningful relationships gradually devolved into psychological manipulation and acts of violence upon her and her daughter. Erica doesn’t go into detail, but she shares enough for us to appreciate how emotionally and physically destructive the abuse was. Her recounting of those chapters in her story sets the stage for sharing what she learned from the experiences--both about the origins and nature of domestic abuse and about herself.
Erica shared 3 big lessons she’s learned through her ordeals. In her own words:
Get professional help, the earlier in life the better, so you become aware of negative patterns, tendencies you might have, dysfunction you need to acknowledge, and of course tools that help us not only to cope, but to make changes.
Don't settle for just surviving your life, whether it be in a marriage, a job, where you live, your health. If you're not living your best life, then work at making it what you want. Life is too short to play it so safe that you end up with too many should've's and not enough bravery to build a life you can be proud of.
Sometimes you have to lose it all or start completely from scratch to find your passion. Whether it be sticking with life-consuming marketing jobs to long because it’s “safe” and a steady paycheck, but dreading going to work each day.
Embedded in Erica’s story are themes that I try to emphasize regularly on this show.
Take responsibility for yourself. There’s always something we can do to improve our situation, even if we’ve truly been the victim of another’s ill-will. This mindset allows us to move from Victim to Victor, stay in our personal power, and find a way forward no matter the situation we’re in.
Our Story and our Purpose in the world are inseparable. In Erica’s case, her ordeal led her to discover a passion for writing and a purpose for her Story. How is your Story pointing to your unique Purpose in the world in ways that you’re not yet acknowledging.
Tune in to the full episode for all of the gold that Erica brings for taking responsibility for our own happiness. It’s a good ‘un!
The 2 Most Important Questions
Here are the two most important questions of this whole episode, so listen carefully:
What stuck with you, and what are you going to do with it?
Take a few slow, deep breaths, and search your heart and mind for your most truthful answers to those questions. What's bubbling up from within you? Now, write your answers down. Commit them to paper to make them just a bit more real, to increase your level of self-accountability just a bit more. Remember, it's not necessary or even always useful to take huge, sweeping action on your insight. Instead, commit to taking just the next step--whatever you're genuinely willing and able to do. Take one of those "micro actions" that Erica mentioned. Over time, consistent micro actions yield big results.
Next, envision in your mind's eye the difference it will make if you actually do the thing you're considering doing as a result of listening to this episode. Be specific. How will your life and your world improve?
Finally, invite the Mortality Mindset into the equation--the reality that you ARE going to die, and it could even be one day very soon. How does that reality influence your motivation to put your insights from this episode into action?
"Tomorrow" never comes, my friends.
Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So, like Erica, get after it!
I Can Help You Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
A powerful, confidential 1-1 coaching partnership or participation in a Graveyard Group can help you live even more courageously and kill deathbed regrets. And the first-ever women's Graveyard Group is forming now. Connect with me to learn more.
I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.
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If you're new to this show, browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Turns out, Mortality might just be the most potent motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and into the fullness of our potential.